Realization
by Trina and Crystal
Summary: My Work is here now: archiveofourown. org/users/Crystal/works Takes place immediately after Fascination so if you haven't read that or Obsessions You need too because this is part 3 in the trilogy! Adam Lambert / Tommy Joe Ratliff Adommy


**Realization**

He pulls away first looking over himself.

"I should clean up."

"Me too. Um, let me go change."

"OK." He replies as he heads to the bathroom.

I can't help but smile watching him. There are so many sides to him, and I think I'm the only one who has seen them all. I'm really growing to enjoy each of them. I need to clean up and change. I head to the bathroom quickly cleaning up. I grab a new t-shirt and some boxers slipping them on. I walk back into his room and he's slipping on a t-shirt.

"Are you still hungry?" I ask sitting on the bed near the phone.

"Yeah." he replies turning to face me.

"What do you want?" I ask looking for the room service menu.

"Um, maybe just a cheeseburger and fries." He replies walking around to the other side of the bed and sitting down.

"OK." I reply dialing the room service number. I order quickly and hang up.

I turn to face him and see he's been watching me the whole time. I bite my lip. It's weird how I was just completely comfortable with him and now I'm nervous again. I need to relax, it's just Adam. Although I can tell I'm not the only nervous one. He's fidgeting with the rings on his fingers. One of us has to speak. We really need to talk about this. About us. Is there an us? I muster up the courage first.

"Adam, I um... We really need to talk about what's happening here."

"I know. What I need to know is why now? All those times I tried. Every time you said no, telling me how straight you are, or how we're just friends."

"Adam, do you realized how hard this is for me? I've been struggling with this for months now. My life has taken a total turn around in so many ways. Once I wrapped my head around the fame I was getting being your bassist, then the rest started to creep up on me."

A knock on the door interrupts my confession.

"Hold that thought." He says, getting up to get our food.

I sit there looking down at my hands. I wish I could say I was still hungry. I hear him thank the guy and shut the door. He comes over and sets the tray down between us, before sitting back down. I grab my soda, taking a small drink before setting it aside. Maybe I should have gotten alcohol. I sit there for a second just watching him. He is meticulously picking apart his burger arranging it just how he likes before globing ketchup on it. For some reason my heart does a funny little flip. I just love watching him be his normal self. He looks up and smiles offering me the ketchup. I take it and pour some on my plate before setting it back on the tray. I grab a fry and drag it through the ketchup and take a bite. After several bites of burger he grabs a napkin wiping his face. I can't help but laugh at the glob of ketchup on his chin.

"What?"

"You got ketchup on your chin." I reach over and swipe it clean. That quickly he grabs my hand, closing his mouth around the ketchup covered finger, sucking it off.

Damn it! Why did he bring the sexy back? For a split second I'm totally lost in his eyes. He releases my finger and hand going back to his meal. How the fuck does he do that? I clear my throat, trying to get back to the subject at hand.

"Aren't you going to eat?" He asks.

"Maybe later." I take my plate setting it on the nightstand. "Adam I really need to get this out."

He stops then, with the last bite of burger in his hand.

"I'm sorry. I was so hungry and it smelled so good."

I can't help but smile, " I know, finish it off. I can wait another minute."

He happily eats the last bite and wipes his face. He moves the tray to the floor then looks back at me giving me his full attention.

"Where was I?" I honestly can't remember.

"You were telling me about struggling with getting famous, and about how other things were creeping up on you."

"Oh yeah." I love that about him. He really does listen when I talk. "It's just so difficult for me. Our friendship came first, and I really treasure that. You are one of the best friends I've ever had. I really don't want to lose that, ever. When I started having these sexual thoughts about you... Well at first I was like, whoa, wait a minute. I've never thought of guys like that. I wasn't repulsed by it or anything, it just wasn't me."

He grabs my hand then, as if sensing how hard this was for me. I look up to see him smiling at me. My heart melts at that smile. I let out a sigh and continue.

"What makes it worse is that, you know technically, you're my boss. Yet another line I didn't want to cross. I really don't want to fuck up what we have. Another thing is, I didn't want to be just another notch in your belt. I mean face it Adam, you're a whore for anything pretty with a dick. I didn't want to be one more pretty boy on your list of conquests."

He puts his other hand over mine, then speaks.

"Tommy I... Wow I don't even know where to begin." His grip tightens then, letting me feel his own torment. I look into his eyes, seeing it there as well.

"The beginning Adam."

He smiles a little.

"Yeah, I guess. Well at first I wanted you so badly. You are just so beautiful Tommy, I can't help myself. I know those first couple months were pretty bad. I must apologies for that. My wants get the best of me sometimes. I really value our friendship too. I love spending time with you, you never cease to amuse me. It's because of that friendship I stopped my pursuit. Believe me, I'd never add you as a notch on my belt. You mean a hell of a lot more to me than those fans boys. I tried desperately to keep you out of my fantasies. I thought to myself that kissing you on stage would be enough for me. And it was for the longest time, but then you came to me. You drug me back down into my fantasies. Once I got my hands on you for the first time it all flooded me. Tonight threw me over the edge. I was so lost in need, lust, I was barely in control of myself."

"You were like an animal that first time tonight. I thought for sure you were going to rape me or something. I was scared, but at the same time utterly lost in the sight of you like that. Just thinking about it makes me shudder." My confession makes him blush slightly.

"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me."

"No don't apologize. I'll admit that was one of the hottest things I've ever seen."

A slight smirk surfaces, "I bet."

I let out a small sound of irritation, "How do you do that?"

"What?" He arches an eyebrow.

"Go from adorable to sexy in like two seconds."

"Oh that." There's that god damn smug tone. "I'm just so highly sexual, it just pops in and out."

"Yeah... Can we get back on subject?"

"Sorry. Where was I? Oh yeah, tonight. It all just attacked me at once. I was willing to do anything to keep you here with me. Even if anything was being on my knees in front of you. I wanted you so badly, I let go of everything. Although I didn't think you would go that far with it. Never expected, bitch, slut, and whore to cross your lips."

It was my turn to blush slightly, "Sorry I... fuck I'm not going to sugar coat it. You are so fucking hot on your knees in front of me. Such a pretty bitch, but I have an idea that you know that."

"Perhaps." He replies sliding the tip of his tongue against his bottom lip.

"Stop that shit."

"Hehe sorry." He laughs.

"Adam."

"Yeah." The laughter stops as he looks into my eyes.

"There's one think I really need to know."

"What is it Tommy?"

"That last kiss, it rattled me to the core. What is really going on with you Adam? With us?"

He let out a long, heavy sigh, gathering his thoughts before he speaks. He lets go of my hand and moves off the bed. He's really fighting with himself, I can tell.

"See this is where I start to feel like you." He begins, "I love our friendship, I really, really don't want to fuck it up. I also don't want to lose you as part of my band. If things go south I could lose it all. I can't let that happen."

I get up then, and walk over to him. I reach up sliding my hand along his cheek.

"Just say it Adam."

He pulls me closer then. I know it's teetering on his lips. He dips his head and takes my lips in a long slow kiss, before pulling away resting his forehead against mine.

"I love you Tommy." He kisses me softly again, "I love you so fucking much."

I sigh, feeling the weight lifted from my shoulders.

"I love you too. I think I have for a long time."

I move in closer. I can't get enough of the feel of him, his scent. I inhale deeply taking that scent in. A hint of cologne and his unique scent. All so intoxicating. Might as well chalk up his scent as my next obsession. At least I don't have to try and hide if from him this time.

"You smell so fucking good." I murmur against his chest. "What cologne is that?"

"Dior." He replies.

"It smells fucking incredible, especially mixed with your unique scent."

My hand slides into his hair as I inhale the scent at his neck, moaning softly. I gently move against him.

"Mmm I knew there was a reason I call you kitty." The smug tone is back, but I'll admit, I love that too. He dips his head, lips at my ear, "You turn into a cat in heat when you find something you like."

I shiver and reply, "Well who am I going to get? Rockstar sex god, or pretty, sexy, bitch?"

He moans into my ear, "Which do you want kitty?" His hand slides along my back.

"Why don't we just see what happens." I reply edging us back towards the bed.

He laughs softly as he falls back onto the bed. I slowly crawl up on top of him. I'm back at his neck, indulging in the strong scent there. My hand slides along his chest through his shirt. I softly kiss his neck as I feel his body totally melt under me. He moans softly as a hand tangles in my hair.

"Tommy."

As my name crosses his lips, I bite gently making him groan. It's then I feel him starting to get hard against me. My body responds, grinding against him. My hand slides under his shirt, my hand aching to feel his skin. I flatten my hand, running my palm over his nipple making him whimper. I wonder how much longer I can torture him. I slide down a bit and push his shirt up. My mouth latches onto the nearest nipple as my fingers tease the other. I'm really enjoying exploring and experimenting. He grabs me then, pulling me up and taking my lips. The kiss is ravenous as he rolls us over, pinning me beneath him. He straddles me, pulling his shirt off and tossing it aside. He grips my shirt working it up and off. I reach up, sliding my hand around his neck, pulling him down to me. He smiles before taking my lips in another kiss. It's then he starts to grind his ass against me.

"Fuck Tommy, so hard."

"Yes." It comes out in a hiss as he works himself against me. "So fucking hot like that Adam."

"Am I?" He smirks, grinding harder. "This what you want Tommy? Huh? Want a pretty bitch on your cock..." He shifts then, hovering over me. He grinds his rock hard cock against mine through our pants. I can't help but groan at the feel. "Or do you want this rockstar cock?"

I'm so fucking hard right now I can't think straight. How the hell am I supposed to decide?

"I want..." I pant.

"What kitty?" He grinds against me again.

"I want to feel it against mine."

"Mmm do you?" He smirks as he slides off the bed to rid himself of his pants.

All I can do is lay there and stare. He stands there naked, painfully aroused. He is so fucking big, thick. He slides his hand along his cock and my eyes are transfixed.

"Fuck." The groan escapes my lips as I watch.

I can barely function as I fumble with my boxers. I can't get them off fast enough. He looks so damn delicious as he lazily strokes himself. Before I realize it, I'm off the bed my body pressed against his. The need to feel his skin overwhelming me. He takes the opportunity to turn us, pressing me against the wall. His hands on either side of my head as he grinds his cock against mine.

"This what you want kitty? This rockstar cock against yours."

"Yes. Feels so good Adam."

"Call me rockstar." His tone dark, demanding. I shudder at his demand.

"Yes rockstar." His eyes darken as the name passes my lips.

"Good kitty." He pulls away, sliding a hand along my chest down to my cock. He gives it a few rough strokes. My hips arch to meet his hand.

"On the bed." Another demand and I am more than willing to comply.

His hand falls away and I whimper at the loss of sensation. I move over to the bed, sitting in the middle of it. I bite my lip, nerves sneak through the need and lust. He moves over to the nightstand opening the drawer. Grabbing a tube of lube I presume. I'm not that naive to the ways of gay sex. He sets it next to me and climbs onto the bed. He straddles my legs, both hands grabbing my head, pulling me in for a kiss. God those lips, I could kiss them forever. My hand slips between is as I find his cock. I slowly wrap my fingers around it. He moans into my mouth and it urges me on. I slowly stroke him, feeling it throb in my hand. He breaks the kiss panting.

"Fuck yeah, stroke it."

"So hard rockstar. Throbbing."

"I know. You always make it throb kitty."

"Do I?" I arch an eyebrow, smirking slightly.

"Yes." His eyes lock with mine and I see the fierce need in them.

"What do you need rockstar?" I emphasize the question with a slow, but rough stroke.

"You." He wretches my hand away and pushes me back against the bed.

I gasp softly and stare up at him. He grabs the lube and pops the top. The nerves rush back as I watch him pour some onto his fingers. He sets the tube aside and looks down at me. A smile breaks through the cocky, rockstar, facade.

"Don't worry, I could never hurt you."

The tension melts along with my heart. I'll never be able to figure out how he switches so easily. I'm brought out of my thoughts by a slick finger slowly sliding into me. He moves it in and out a bit until I relax around it. I look down to watch him. He's mesmerized by his finger moving into me. He gently adds a second finger and looks up. He catches my eyes just as his fingers nudge that spot. The sensation making me all too aware of my need. I slide a hand down to my cock stroking it. He laughs softly.

"Feels good don't it?"

"Yes... more." I whimper.

With that he adds a third finger stretching me even more. It hurts a little, but feels good. With every movement of his fingers he nudges my spot. He has to know it's driving me crazy.

"Please rockstar..."

"Please what?" That infernal smirk is back.

"I... I want..." He has me panting so hard I can barely say it. "I want your cock."

He moans then, although it sounds more like a growl to me. He slips his fingers out and grabs the lube again. He squirts some into his palm and tosses it aside. He slowly moves his hand along his cock, covering it completely with the lube. He moves over me, staring down into my eyes. His cock is poised at my ass. He gently teases me before inching the head in.

"Oh fuck." He's barely in and already feels too big.

"Relax kitty." He whispers before taking my lips.

I whimper into his mouth as he moves deeper and deeper into me. He breaks the kiss panting.

"So fucking tight. Shit." He buries his head in my shoulder as he's finally easing all the way in.

"So big rockstar. Hurts a bit."

He raises his head, sliding a hand against my cheek.

"Calm down baby, it will feel really good in a minute."

I nod in reply, willing my body to relax. Even in the midst of all this, I see the love in his eyes. It's as raw as the lust it resides with. I feel his body shivering. He has to calm down himself or it will be over all too soon. We both are stuck in time, staring at each other. I know he's wanted this so much longer than I have, but I feel it just as strong. One of us has to break the spell. I push against him softly and he moans.

"Fuck me rockstar." I whimper, my need overcoming me.

The darkness clouds his eyes at my words. He grinds hard against my spot, making moans pour from my lips. His thrusts are slow at first, testing my reaction. I move against him, my body wants more. I want more. He thrusts harder, faster. Each more urgent than the last. He buries his head in my shoulder and I take the opportunity to inhale his scent. The sweat making his musky scent even more powerful. My senses fill with him. The scent of our sex, his body. His ragged moans and curses in my ear. The feel of his body as I run my hands over his back. I slip my hand between us. My cock is aching for attention. As if feeling my hand move between us, his hand joins mine.

"Come for me kitty. Make this rockstar cock shoot in your ass." He growls it into my ear and it makes me throb even more.

"Yes rockstar. Oh fuck!"

Conscience thought lost, my hand falls away as he takes the lead. A few hard, fast strokes and I'm coming with a scream beneath him.

"Yes, that's it kitty." He groans, his hand coming up to brace himself as he thrusts harder, faster.

"Get it rockstar." I moan working my ass against him.

"Fuck Tommy, Fuck!"

With one last thrust I feel him spill into my ass. I whimper at the sensation, still moving against him.

"Yes rockstar." Panting, I slide my hands along his back.

He slowly slips out of me, collapsing on the bed beside me. "Fuck." Is all he can say.

I curl up at his side, nuzzling his chest, as my hand slides down his stomach.

"Adam that..." I try to find the words, "That was incredible." I sigh like a content kitten as he slides his arm around me. I look up and see a warm smile on his face.

"It was. I didn't hurt you did I?"

"No, no. Not at all."

"Good." He leans down and kisses my forehead.

Wanting more, I move up against him. I look into his eyes, seeing all the love right there at the surface. So much emotion wells up. All I can do is kiss him. I pour everything in my kiss. He pulls away first, his lips mere inches from mine.

"I love you Tommy Joe."

I can't stop the smile spreading across my face.

"I love you too Adam."


End file.
